


a variation on love lines

by fated_addiction



Category: GOT7, K-pop, Kara - Fandom, Korean Actor RPF, 룸메이트 | Roommate (TV)
Genre: F/M, Romance, i can't even lol, these two
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-26
Updated: 2015-02-26
Packaged: 2018-03-15 07:28:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3438716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fated_addiction/pseuds/fated_addiction
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The secret to car dates? There is none.</p><p>OR five times Jackson and Youngji confessed to each other without <i>actually</i> confessing to each other because Youngji is awkward and Jackson forgets his words and everyone knows they're dating anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	a variation on love lines

**1.**

 

 

The first and only time they don't talk for a week is not on purpose, it's incidental; they are both busy and they are both respectful of the holidays. She's surprised, of course, not to hear from him and okay, _okay_ , maybe even a little disappointed too.

Then Sunny tells her to make chocolates.

"Valentine's Day is over," she moans, "and it's not like he likes sweet things, _eonni_ \--"

Sunny laughs over the phone. "He's a boy, Youngji-ah. He's going to like it whether he likes chocolate or not. It's healthy for his ego, you know."

"Still," she protests, but Sunny just laughs. It's stupid too because now, now, she's really thinking about it, between rehearsals and commitments and even the times she goes and helps her mother and sister out at the coffee shop. She thinks _is this really a good idea_ because she really hasn't liked anyone since middle school and that didn't really go to well and she is really, really, _really_ bad at these things.

Then she buys the ingredients.

 

 

-

 

 

"How long are you going to stare?"

Hara shows up later, after a photo shoot, joined by Gyuri-eonni, who, in turn, who has been watching Youngji watch the ingredients for the chocolates while turning various shades of green and white.

"It's been --" Gyuri checks her watch, after sipping her coffee, "Thirty minutes? She's barely touched them."

" _Eonni_ ," Youngji protests and Hara just laughs.

The ingredients are spread over the counter. The kitchen they share in the dorm is small, but clean. They all _sort of_ cook and the task is shuttered between Gyuri and Youngji, mostly, since Hara nurses a junk food habit and Seungyeon burns a lot of toast.

Hara grabs a water bottle. "You should help her."

"No," Youngji says and then grabs the coco powder for the first time. "I --" she looks at Hara, smiling shyly, then she raises a fist for Gyuri, "I just need support! Lots of support!"

"She doesn't need any help," Gyuri murmurs.

They both stay. Youngji needs this, she thinks, and it's always a surprising reassurance that the other girls are here and here for her when this life is still so bright, so strange and insane. Reality checks come in all kinds of forms. She thinks of Jackson, then, and blushes.

It becomes easy then, all butter and coca powder together, and when she gets adventurous, it's Hara that tells her to stay simple because boys are nothing more than simple when it comes to things like food. Gyuri just laughs and pats her on the head a lot because, she says, that's what the oldest does the best.

She wraps the gift cutely because she wants to, red paper because she's throwing together, like, nine holidays under the guise of a _thinking of you_ gift. Even thought it's a genuine _thinking of you_ gift. Will he get it?

The finished product is simple too: red paper, small pieces of neat, delicious mixes of dark, milk, and white chocolate since she couldn't remember if he had a favorite. It doesn't matter. There's a feeling then, in the pit of her stomach, that sort of unravels when Gyuri makes dinner and Hara pats her head before they're all off to bed. 

Youngji forgets how she's going to get it to him.

 

 

-

 

 

There is a list.

She can't give them to Sunny. She won't give it to Hara even though Hara would totally do it, as would any of her oppas; she just won't let it be something for the house. It's strange and her nerves are getting the best of her because she knows they're going to cross paths at event a, b, c, and oh god, especially event _d_. She would ask her sister too but her sister is back at university and why would she come out, just to see her and give Jackson chocolates as if they were back in middle school and high school anyway.

Youngji hates this idea already.

It's at Event D, which suddenly goes from _event d_ to Event D, that she throws caution to the wind and excuses herself from Kara's break to go wander off and find Jackson, who, in fact, is somewhere down the hall with GOT7 and hasn't made _any_ effort to come and see her. She ignores Hara's big, knowing grin and shoves her bag of chocolates into her fist.

"This is such a bad idea," she mutters, and it's taking too long to get to their room. She stops and says hello to a couple of sunbaes because that's the right thing to do and manners are manners. She even blushes through a comment by a few of them and wonders if there's a big, universal sign that says _off to see jackson!_ because even Amber is shoving her in the direction of the door.

She's knocking before she realizes it.

Mark answers the door and she hears the chaos before she can understand what's happening. Her eyes go wide, his gets even wider, and she shoves the small back of chocolates into his chest, flushed and too shy.

"Youngji!" he greets, finally, but the voices are too loud and the momentum is back again. She hears Jackson's laugh and Mark starts to step back. "You can --"

"No!" she blurts, her hands up. Her cheeks are red. "Just give it to him, okay?" she rubs her cheeks, laughing nervously. "I'm mad at him," she suddenly decides and the words are just dropping, just like that. "Because I was doing something nice for him and then he hasn't, like, said hello! Or how are you? And I know it's only been a week, but -"

Mark's eyes are bright. He grins widely.

"I'll give it to him," he says.

She nods. "I'm going to go then." She bows politely. "Thank you -"

Mark laughs. "You don't need to worry."

"I'm not worried!" she says, but she's grinning back, bowing, and stumbling away because her cheeks are burning and she won't stay around to see Mark give Jackson the chocolates. Why would she? It's such an awkward thing to give a boy a gift in front of a group of boys.

Her face is still red by the time she gets back to the room.

 

 

-

 

 

"It's not Valentine's Day."

He calls her later. Finally, after Event D, and finally, after she gets home, goes to her room and has to sneak back out because it's only late enough for her mother to call and Seungyeon-eonni _just_ fell asleep.

"Hold on," she whispers into the phone. She squints in the dark and is clumsily enough to make it past Hara and Gyuri's room to find a quiet place in the living room. "Give me a second, okay?"

He laughs back at her. "A second!"

" _Jackson_ ," she hisses. "You live with boys. It's a little easier for you to make and take phone calls, idiot."

"I didn't say anything!"

"You _didn't_ have to."

She hears him scoff. There's a rustle and she's sitting down on the floor, in a corner and by the window. She squints in the view and then rubs her eyes.

"You haven't called me," she mumbles.

He huffs. "You haven't called _me_ ," he throws back. "I've been worried and thinking that I've done something because sometimes when you get mad, you, like, get really mad. And half the time, I just don't understand."

She blinks. She bites her lip too. Her legs fold against her chest and well, she thinks, this is stupid. "You thought I was mad?"

"Well, you sent me chocolates then --"

"I'm not _mad_ ," she interrupts.

"I figured that out when you sent me chocolates," he says dryly. "Which, well, thank you? They were delicious."

"Really?"

"Yeah." He mumbles something about _members_ and she wants to blush again. "I liked all of them."

"Okay."

It's strange, all of the sudden, or maybe just a little bit stranger. She can't really decide how she really feels. There are butterflies, but then again, there have always been butterflies, there and ever present especially when goes and does something stupid like touch her wrist or indulge her and laugh awkwardly at her jokes.

They'll finish the conversation though. He has to sleep. She definitely has to sleep. Someone says _we'll see you at the house_ and yes, of course, this is the best that they can do.

Youngji may miss him just a little bit.

 

 

 

**2.**

 

 

He is back at the house before she is, then he wakes her up in the middle of night, just as she's _really_ ready to go back to bed, with a series of text messages that can only be described as **YOUNGJI YAH I AM BORED GET UP** because why else would he let her sleep when she's back in the house and the cameras won't be on for real for a few hours. By the sixth or seventh time her phone buzzes against her cheek, she groans and almost, _almost_ throws her phone across the room so he could hear _that_ and leave her alone.

**YOUNGJIIIIIIIII**

" _Who_ are you," she mutters, and then crawls out of bed, quietly, even though Nana and Gukjoo could both sleep through natural disasters and ghost hauntings. 

She moves downstairs, then to the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and turning on a light. She moves to the fridge and grabs her phone to text him too.

_come to the kitchen idiot_

**WHY**

_feeding you and going back to bed duh_

**OK I GUESS**

Youngji rolls her eyes and tosses her phone onto the counter. She decides on eggs, since they have enough for months, and leftovers with rice because he'll eat enough for the both of them and maybe, just maybe, she could eat a little bit too. To keep him company, of course.

She hears a door open and then a quick shuffle of feet scuttle against the floor. Cucumber is asleep too and barely stirs when he bursts into the kitchen. Youngji can't hide a smile, but presses her finger to her lips and he shrugs, amused, meeting her at the counter anyway.

"Hey."

"You're ridiculous," she says.

"When did you get in?"

"About an hour ago," she says, and starts frying the eggs. "My manager oppa dropped my eonnis off first before he brought me here. I had to stop and see my sister and mom."

Jackson takes a spoon and opens up the leftovers. He takes a messy bite and she rolls her eyes. He gets rice in the corner of his mouth and she steps away from the eggs, for just a second, to lean in. Her fingers touch his mouth and it's bold, maybe just a little too bold, but the rice grains are going to, like, _bother_ her and she pushes it off and away with her thumb.

"You're a mess," she mumbles, biting her thumb. His eyes darken and she turns back to the eggs. "How was your flight?"

He tells her, of course. He talks about Japan, then he talks about Hong Kong and how good it was to see his parents. Her heart twists when she listens to Jackson talk about seeing his mom because it's a reality and it's a lonely reality that no one really goes and thinks about when they've gone head first into his life. She listens though and relaxes because he has this sense about him where he can fill the room with himself and make everyone feel fine. It's still different for her, she thinks, because she listens and likes to listen and takes pieces of his life as if they were her own.

"Youngji!"

She blinks and Jackson's hand is in her face.

"What?"

She plates the eggs for a moment and then moves to warm the leftovers for them. She bites her lip again.

"You weren't listening," he pouts.

"I was too."

"What did I say?" He pokes her hip and she laughs, finishing with the leftovers. "Huh? What did I say?"

"You said that JB-oppa bought you a new hat because he lost a bet and that met up with a few of your old school friends for lunch."

Jackon's eyes narrow. "Don't call him oppa."

"He told me I could," she says, shrugging, and Jackson narrows his eyes. She reaches for a spoon and shoves it into his mouth, rice and all. "Stop being silly," she says.

"When did he say that?" he asks, swallowing. He grabs the spoon from her hand and feeds her the rice too. "I wasn't there when he said that."

She takes a bite and shrugs. "I wanted a water from the vending machine. He was getting a soda --" she has to pause because he feeds her another bite and she's laughing because he starts to pout again. "And," she swallows, "it my change, so he bought me one instead."

"You should have waited for _me_."

He's glaring at her and she flushes not really knowing why. She doesn't _feel_ embarrassed. She doesn't think she's done anything wrong. It was just water. She was thirsty and running out of time before she had to be on stage with the girls and he was there too. JB is just as intimidating as Jackson can be, she thinks. He's handsome as well and smiled at her and okay, so, maybe she does remember him saying something like _ah jackson's girl_. Then she frowns because that makes no sense and it's almost embarrassing anyway. She's always thought of Jackson as a man first but where did that even come from?

"You're ridiculous," she mumbles.

"I'm being serious!"

"Even more so." She shoves the spoon back into his mouth and glares back. "You're the one that didn't call for a week and then _sort of_ texted me to see how I was doing --"

"You didn't text me either!"

"What does that have anything to do with anything, Jackson? You're making a ridiculous argument out of nothing."

"You started it." He's still glaring, then leans forward and flicks her forehead. She winces, pouts, and he laughs too. "Sorry," he says. "I couldn't help it. You did start it."

"I hate you," she mumbles.

"No," he says. "You don't."

He feeds her more rice and she manages to eat it. The bite's a little too big. He watches her carefully and she feels her face warm, just slightly, because this is kind of silly and there is really _no one_ around and they've only turned on a few of the lights in the kitchen. She feels herself swallow and then he's leaning too close to her, when they should be sitting at the table or on the floor.

Something inside of her is shifting and she finds herself watching him _watch_ her. It's a strange thing to be aware of: the way his eyes sort of darken, the slight curl of his lip when he's being serious, maybe even too serious for her to even pick this apart and think too much of it. She reaches forward, quietly, and then brushes her fingers against his face. She can't help herself and when he doesn't push her away, she lets her fingers move to his mouth. She touches his lip.

"Yah," she murmurs. "Your food stays inside your mouth."

"I didn't eat anything."

" _Aigoo_." Her hand drops and pushes a little at his chest. "You're a mess," she says again.

He laughs and the sound is soft, softer than she imagines. He's not being careful and there's something warm about it too, just as his mouth begins to curl and he leans forward, almost into her, covering her hand when it hits at his chest again. His fingers lace over her hand, curling into her palm as he tugs her forward. 

Her head is spinning. "I missed you too," he says

 

 

-

 

 

In the morning, Sunny is the one that wakes her. 

The film crew is setting up outside and Sunny is _dying_ , her eyes bright with laughter when Youngji blinks back sleep and wakes up first, sitting at the table with a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

Jackson is nowhere to be found. It takes her a minute to understand that, even with the blanket around her shoulders and the kitchen sparkling. Sunny pushes some tea across the table, biting back her amusement.

"He cleaned up and everything," Sunny teases.

Youngji keeps the blanket close and tries not to hide.

 

 

 

**3.**

 

 

The roommates have an outing. They need groceries. Everyone else pairs Jackson with Youngji and Dongwook and Seho since it makes the most sense and Dongwook will just threaten them with marriage if they act up - because, really, who goes and does that?

"Stop playing with your hair."

She blinks and Jackson is glaring. "What do you mean?" she asks and her fingers are twisting in a few, loose strands. "It's a nervous habit," she defends.

He bat her hand away. "Why are you nervous?"

"I don't know," she shoots back. She narrows her eyes. "Why are you worried about my hair?"

"I'm not," he says.

His hands are on her arms and she's turning, slightly, without even realizing it. There are cameras in the car and Seho is starting to laugh, while Dongwook is watching them in the car mirror.

Jackson pulls her hair loose and she is surprised, too surprised to tell him that it took her _ages_ to decide to wear it up because her stylist-eonni thought it might be a good idea to try something new. But there were strands coming loose and she can't really braid her hair _that_ well and it's a little frustrating when she has no idea what he's doing and he's invading her personal space.

"I'm good at this," he mutters, serious.

Her eyes are wide and she finds herself just letting him position her so that he can reach better. His fingers are in her hair, dragging through the strands are. He fumbles, first, and she wonders if he remembers that they're being filmed because her mouth is sort of open, and she's, okay, maybe smiling, even humming nervously as he braids her hair quickly and as painlessly as possible.

"These _kids_ ," Seho mutters from the front and Dongwook chokes on his laugh. "Seriously."

"Sorry, hyung," Jackson says. "But you've never sat in the back with her when she's like this --"

"Finish that sentence," Youngji cuts Jackson off, "and I'll kick you in the face."

Dongwook bursts into laughter in the front of the car, but Jackson remains serious and unfazed. He turns her back to sit straight next to him and she's still very, very confused as to why she's letting him do this. It's all very open and all very new and oh god, her face feels hot again.

This isn't about love lines, she thinks. Although there has been some sort of unspoken blessing from the rest of the world, including their parents, _especially_ their parents (her mother has basically adopted Jackson, sends him food and has confessed to getting her older sister to help her email Jackson's mom too which, like, _what_ ) and Youngji feels her head start to spin.

There's a _click_ then and her eyes widen, looking up at Jackson with his fingers in her hair.

"What?" he asks.

She reaches up and touches his fingers, then touches something cool and metal in her hair.

"It's a barrette," she says dumbly.

He nods. "Ah," he shrugs too. "Yeah. I brought it back. My mom helped pick it out when we were out ... you don't like it."

She shakes her head quickly. "No, no --" she ignores the looks she gets from the front of the car. She feels weird and confused and those stupid, stupid butterflies are spinning in her stomach. Her throat dries a little. "I can't see it," she mumbles and blushes.

"Oh," he says and then he grabs his phone, throwing an arm around her and she sort of recovers enough to smile into taking a selca with him.

He sends her the selca too, later, not before showing it to her and asking if she wants to take it again because girls are like that, hyung, and Youngji is too startled to notice both her oppas trying to hide, recover, and give them the moment from the front because this is a weird and impossible space. She is vaguely aware of Jackson's arm around her shoulder still and takes the phone from his hand with both of her own, cradling it to see the gold barrette with bits of red weaved into some design and feels herself become even more flustered that he was thinking of her when he didn't have to.

"It's beautiful," she says, says quietly, then sneaks a glance at him and tries to smile. 

He says nothing though.

Later, he holds her hand first. Dongwook teases them the rest of the way.

 

 

 

**4.**

 

 

He gets mad at her the second time. Or third time - maybe it's the fourth time? She loses count when they fight. They take enough turns as it is.

But it's enough for her to drag herself to his room again, since KARA isn't on the stage for another hour or so. There are clips in her hair and she's got a jacket wrapped around her; she practices what she's going to say because she can't even begin to remember what they were fighting about before. Did she say Taecyeon was really handsome again?

She knocks on the door. JB answers.

"Youngji," he greets and a strange, amused smile breaks across his mouth. She flutters and almost draws back, but steels herself because, of course, Jackson won't tell her why he's mad so that makes him the idiot in this.

"Oppa," she says. She pushes herself back onto her heels. She shakes her head and bows because, well, remember your manners Youngji-ah. "Is he --"

JB nods. "He's been in a mood, you know."

"I don't know what I _did_ ," she blurts, then blushes, and it's not like they're dating so why she getting mad. JB shakes his head and steps back, still amused. He lets her into the room and the room is quiet.

Jackson sees her first, flustered, and stands almost abruptly. He knocks something out of Youngjae's hands and there's Yungyeom and Bambam behind him and everyone is watching her and she doesn't know what to do.

"You have to tell me what I did," she tells him and she waves her hands around instead of bowing because okay, maybe, maybe she's lost her mind. She glares. "Because at least when I'm mad at you I tell you when you're being an idiot - which you do a lot."

"He does," Youngjae agrees, JB laughs, and Jackson is glaring at her. They've publicly fought and they've never really fought in front of friends - although, she thinks, Hara does say that she's seen enough.

"You guys are cute," someone says and it's not Bambam, who looks at the two of them sourly, flustered and confused because there's Mark, at his side, cackling. Boys are weird, she thinks, because when there's a girl, it's like they have never seen a girl before, even worse when it's a girl and it's their friend with a girl.

But Jackson grabs her hand, really grabs his hand, she's flustered because she's pulled close and he's grinning at his group, right through a tight _excuse us_ because she's not sure what she'd say and she guesses that's why he makes a move first. He drags her forward and she manages a goodbye, ducking through the doorway as he takes her into the stairwell and down a couple flights of stairs.

"Where are we going?"

"To talk," he says.

"About what?" she says, then remembers that he's supposed to be mad at her and she's mad because he's mad and there's no explanation. She wants to fix things.

They stop around the fifth floor, closer to the garage, and he's still holding her hand. He turns and she blinks.

"Sorry."

"What?"

He shrugs. "Sorry," he says. "I wanted to go to the car -"

"Like a car date?"

Jackson blushes brightly. He mutters something and drops her hand too.

"Anyways," he says. "I'm not mad at you anymore."

"Then why did you say you were?"

"I didn't really. You just make me a little crazy, you know, because you -"

"Me?"

He thrusts his hands forward, waving them around. "You do that! You always have something to say when I do."

"It's called a conversation," she says dryly.

" _See_ ," he says. "I can't even finish!"

He's frustrated and she reads into it, her mouth curling. She's starting to find this funny and she doesn't know why because he says crazy things to her all the time, like _you're pretty_ without having any reason to. He's leaning forward, leaning over her too, his fingers pushing her bangs away from her eyes and she's flushing too.

"What?"

"Nothing," he mutters. Jackson touches her cheek. "I forgot why I was mad, I guess."

"Well why were you mad in the first place?" her head is spinning because he's close and it's so much more than him being close because she likes when he's close, she thinks, and she knows it takes a lot for her to trust him to be close. She thinks she'd like him to kiss her and she doesn't know why she thinks of that because that's dangerous, oh god, it's really dangerous, but it doesn't mean she doesn't want it.

"I forgot," he mutters. Then he shrugs. "We should go out to eat," he says. "Later," he says too. "You have to do well."

Youngji smiles and he drops his hand. He doesn't reach for hers though, but makes sure to lead her out onto the floor and back to the elevator so that they can go to their rooms. He's polite enough and they stand close to each other in the elevator, full of people, like it's nothing. It would almost be funny, but then she's aware of him, the makeup that's on her face, and the way his fingers always seem to feel, whether it's her hand or her face.

It almost feels like a date.

Youngji wonders if he'd really take her out for meat.

It's a little silly, anyway.

 

 

 

 

**5.**

 

 

 

There are thirty-six missed texts when she goes back to the kitchen of the coffee shop. It's Friday and she's finished work early, off to return to the Roommate house later that night after helping her parents out for their late hours.

"It hasn't stopped buzzing," her sister says.

Youngji flushes, picking her phone up because if it were the girls, they would just come and see her or call. She moves to sit with the desserts, picking up a fork and then sorting through her messages. Jackson is the only one that texts her like a middle school girl as it is.

**YOUNGJI BRING CAKE**

"Nope," she says, and scrolls through, laughing when there's a picture of Mark and Bambam, then Jackson hijacking the picture of Mark and Bambam.

**YOU'RE COMING TO THE HOUSE RIGHT**

**YAH**

**YOUNGJI PLEASE THAT CAKE WAS THE BEST!!!!!!**

"Am I supposed to bring a cake just for you," she mutters and then laughs because her mother would totally do it. Her cheeks feel a little warm and she fans her face. "You're ridiculous," she adds, then picking her phone up and scrolling forward so she can just call him anyway. When he picks up, she says, "Yah, Wang Jackson can't you just come and say hello?"

"Hello."

She whirls around and he's grinning, standing at the doorway with a pastry bag and her jacket. She almost drops her phone, clutching her sweater.

"That's not _nice_."

He shrugs. "So is not answering your messages."

"I was busy," she says.

"You were playing hard to get," he says lazily, and he goes and grabs her things for her. She's bewildered and he helps her into her sweater, then her jacket, and she really, really wants to hit him and kiss him at the same time. This is a problem, she tells herself, and maybe, maybe, she should go ahead and do it.

"You're so _frustrating_ ," she bites.

He laughs and flicks her forehead. He tucks the pastry bag into her purse and says something about saying goodbye to both her mother and sister, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for her to go and say.

"Come on," he grabs her hand, then she drags her heels back, suddenly pulling them both back into the kitchen. His eyes widen and he turns to, probably to say something smart again.

So she kisses him.

It's abrupt and stupid, really clumsy, but he drops her purse and her mouth feels weirdly soft over his as she reaches forward and twists her fingers into his jacket. He makes this sound, this _low_ , heady sound and she can taste the sweetness of the coffee that her mother probably handed to him right out of the car.

She's kissing him though, really kissing him, and his hand slowly moves to her hip and he's pulling her closer. She thinks all sorts of things: she fits against him and that's weird and romantic that she goes and thinks that they _fight_ ; somehow it seems important, even though she knows her hand fits into his and she likes that just as much too.

Youngji pulls back first.

His eyes are closed. She's breathing the heaviest, her teeth sinking into her lip. It really doesn't register that she's kissed him, or that he's kissed her back, if that even matter anyway. She touches her lip next.

"Um."

Jackson shakes his head, twisting his fingers through hers. He pulls her hand away from her mouth.

"We're going back to the house," he says and he keeps his hand in hers, even as they both say goodbye to her mother and her sister, a few customers on the way, and another hello to her manager-oppa that was roped into taking Jackson along with him anyway.

They'd have a terrible car date.

 

 

 

-

 

 

 

Hara calls her when the _Weekly Idol_ episode airs. 

She knows the moment it happens because there is a text from Sunny and her sister that follows before, between lie detectors and clumsy laughs. But Hara is always the most honest -- and the most gentle, if anything but -- and there is laughter in her voice, enough to make Youngji blush.

"You're the worst kept secret, you know," she says.


End file.
